HICKORY DICKERY DOCK, TIME TO WRITE A BLOG... Yeah, I know that these lines "exactly" do not qualify (even if the judges were my parents or my wife) as a limerick. But due to the LAKHON novels that I have written till now [:D], I could not think of any good and original way of beginning a blog. Maybe, I am suffering from temporary and chronic attacks of AUTHOR FATIGUE, which is similar to METAL FATIGUE. Now, don't you ask me "Wat on Earth is Metal Fatigue?". If you want the details of "metal fatigue", please visit WIKIPEDIA and type METAL FATIGUE as the search string. In case, you have understood, please explain it to me as well...
Getting on with the blog, thanks readers for all the love that you have showered on my little head... After my last post, a truckload of fan mails were literally dumped on me. My mailman was so happy that he gave me the tightest hug that I have ever received in my life... and by any chance if you weirdos are thinking on the same lines as Kanta Ben, I would like to clarify that this hug was meant to crush my bones and make a pulp out of them. This was b'coz, my fans were so desperate to show off there FAN-NESS that they gave poor mailman a punch or two for the sheer fact that he was bringing me mails and would therefore transfer their LOVE directly to me.. Got to say, my fans do house a very DEEP thinking mind on their torso. What else would justify fan mails with jaws of a shark and a warning beneath saying "JAWS 5 is being made and we have recommended your name to play the character who is ripped apart by the 20 ft Great white".
No prices for guessing why I have chosen this topic as my fourth blog entry (or is it third?? ...mmm.. chaddo yaar... who cares!!)... No..NAH.. absolutely not...its not like I want to shout from the top of mt. everest that I am currently residing in London and I am on an on-site assignment (which I already did!! oops, CHAMDE KI JABAN HEIN JI, FISAL JAATI HEIN..). Its just that I am missing India and hence want to think of something which would help me get out of this temporary state.
First things first.. onsite salary is 10 times its offshore counterpart. Taking all the inflationary jargon into account, savings over here are 10 - 15 times that at offshore. For all you non IT guys (read FORTUNATE), onsite is a term used to annotate a temporary stay at your client's office for the purpose of understanding (and breaking!!) client's systems. Also, statistically speaking, 8 out of 10 times your client would be located out of India (the remaining 2 times, if you are working for an Indian client, you would have to work at an Indian location). What this essentially means is that you would be paid in the currency of that country in which you are working. For eg., if you are working on a project of an English client (say TESCO) then your onsite work location would be England (or UK should I say??) and your salary would be in GBP (Great Britain Pounds). Now, if some of my BRIGHT readers think that I am over here (in London) working for TESCO, then please keep your thinking process at bay. I am not that foolish that I would disclose my client's whereabouts so easily. [:P]
Moving on, after explicating the salary part, let me outline other facets of life at onsite. Remember our Class 1 social science book (oh, i am feeling nostalgic now. Got the topic of my next blog entry!!). Yeah, the book that had a girl skipping at its cover page. That book had a chapter (don't remember the chapter number) which had this bunch of cavemen feeding on the flesh of a hapless deer (and the censor board calls for a ban on showing violent scenes in movies!!). Now, assuming that they didn't have refrigerators back then (pardon my pathetic sense of humor!!), these people must have got the responsibility of killing and devouring the animal in real quick time. The point that I am trying to make out of this absolute utter crap is, man is a social animal since the time of his (or her) origins and we Indians, b'coz of some congenital characteristics which we had acquired (what the heck!! how can a characteristic be congenital if at all it was acquired!!) from our society, are MORE social. However, our Indian instincts have to take a backseat when we are at onsite (outside India).
I mean, in India, I could not have imagined spending a whole day without getting involved in some kind of quarrel with either my room-mates or with my near and dear ones (reminds me, of late I haven't had a skirmish with my wife!!) . But over here, all you do is avoiding confrontation; keep aside skirmishes. What the hell.. I was supposed to write things which were to help me in overcoming home-sickness. Seems like I am deviating.. Lets try it again.
Hmm.. At onsite...mmmm... Ohh, it was in my mind just a moment ago...Yes, at onsite... shhhheeeesshh.. Guys and gals, I think the more I do a conscious effort of NOT missing India, the more would I be doing the same [:(].. This is perhaps b'coz no matter how much we crib about our corrupt and unresponsive government or about the underdeveloped infrastructure (or should I say, the absence of it!!) or the constant nagging and meddling of our parents or about the SUPPOSED Indian narrow-mindedness or about the great Indian hoopla about cricket or about petty and cheap politicians who would perhaps do anything for there selfish interests; the fact remains, we have got used to such atrocities and anomalies. Anything that does not subscribe to these, leaves us wanting.
Well, time to wrap up my blog. Hope you experienced the same joy and warmth reading it as I had writing (typing!!) it. You must have guessed the topic of my next post. In case you haven't, keep guessing for I don't want to end the suspense (if there was any [:)]) right now.
P.S: Please don't pull out your hair thinking "What's the logic behind the nomenclature used in naming this blog". Frankly speaking, there isn't any (logic)!!.
Getting on with the blog, thanks readers for all the love that you have showered on my little head... After my last post, a truckload of fan mails were literally dumped on me. My mailman was so happy that he gave me the tightest hug that I have ever received in my life... and by any chance if you weirdos are thinking on the same lines as Kanta Ben, I would like to clarify that this hug was meant to crush my bones and make a pulp out of them. This was b'coz, my fans were so desperate to show off there FAN-NESS that they gave poor mailman a punch or two for the sheer fact that he was bringing me mails and would therefore transfer their LOVE directly to me.. Got to say, my fans do house a very DEEP thinking mind on their torso. What else would justify fan mails with jaws of a shark and a warning beneath saying "JAWS 5 is being made and we have recommended your name to play the character who is ripped apart by the 20 ft Great white".
No prices for guessing why I have chosen this topic as my fourth blog entry (or is it third?? ...mmm.. chaddo yaar... who cares!!)... No..NAH.. absolutely not...its not like I want to shout from the top of mt. everest that I am currently residing in London and I am on an on-site assignment (which I already did!! oops, CHAMDE KI JABAN HEIN JI, FISAL JAATI HEIN..). Its just that I am missing India and hence want to think of something which would help me get out of this temporary state.
First things first.. onsite salary is 10 times its offshore counterpart. Taking all the inflationary jargon into account, savings over here are 10 - 15 times that at offshore. For all you non IT guys (read FORTUNATE), onsite is a term used to annotate a temporary stay at your client's office for the purpose of understanding (and breaking!!) client's systems. Also, statistically speaking, 8 out of 10 times your client would be located out of India (the remaining 2 times, if you are working for an Indian client, you would have to work at an Indian location). What this essentially means is that you would be paid in the currency of that country in which you are working. For eg., if you are working on a project of an English client (say TESCO) then your onsite work location would be England (or UK should I say??) and your salary would be in GBP (Great Britain Pounds). Now, if some of my BRIGHT readers think that I am over here (in London) working for TESCO, then please keep your thinking process at bay. I am not that foolish that I would disclose my client's whereabouts so easily. [:P]
Moving on, after explicating the salary part, let me outline other facets of life at onsite. Remember our Class 1 social science book (oh, i am feeling nostalgic now. Got the topic of my next blog entry!!). Yeah, the book that had a girl skipping at its cover page. That book had a chapter (don't remember the chapter number) which had this bunch of cavemen feeding on the flesh of a hapless deer (and the censor board calls for a ban on showing violent scenes in movies!!). Now, assuming that they didn't have refrigerators back then (pardon my pathetic sense of humor!!), these people must have got the responsibility of killing and devouring the animal in real quick time. The point that I am trying to make out of this absolute utter crap is, man is a social animal since the time of his (or her) origins and we Indians, b'coz of some congenital characteristics which we had acquired (what the heck!! how can a characteristic be congenital if at all it was acquired!!) from our society, are MORE social. However, our Indian instincts have to take a backseat when we are at onsite (outside India).
I mean, in India, I could not have imagined spending a whole day without getting involved in some kind of quarrel with either my room-mates or with my near and dear ones (reminds me, of late I haven't had a skirmish with my wife!!) . But over here, all you do is avoiding confrontation; keep aside skirmishes. What the hell.. I was supposed to write things which were to help me in overcoming home-sickness. Seems like I am deviating.. Lets try it again.
Hmm.. At onsite...mmmm... Ohh, it was in my mind just a moment ago...Yes, at onsite... shhhheeeesshh.. Guys and gals, I think the more I do a conscious effort of NOT missing India, the more would I be doing the same [:(].. This is perhaps b'coz no matter how much we crib about our corrupt and unresponsive government or about the underdeveloped infrastructure (or should I say, the absence of it!!) or the constant nagging and meddling of our parents or about the SUPPOSED Indian narrow-mindedness or about the great Indian hoopla about cricket or about petty and cheap politicians who would perhaps do anything for there selfish interests; the fact remains, we have got used to such atrocities and anomalies. Anything that does not subscribe to these, leaves us wanting.
Well, time to wrap up my blog. Hope you experienced the same joy and warmth reading it as I had writing (typing!!) it. You must have guessed the topic of my next post. In case you haven't, keep guessing for I don't want to end the suspense (if there was any [:)]) right now.
P.S: Please don't pull out your hair thinking "What's the logic behind the nomenclature used in naming this blog". Frankly speaking, there isn't any (logic)!!.
3 comments:
इंडिया की तो याद आना स्वाभाविक ही है .....कही भी और आपको सुबह सुबह गाय दरवाज़े पर आवाज़ देने नही आती...., चाय की गुमटिया आपको हर जगह नही टकराती....., पड़ोस के अंकल और बगल वाली आंटी आपके बहुत कुछ नही कहलाते....रंगो, आतिशबाजी , मौज मस्ती, पतंगो के अलग अलग त्यौहार नही मिलते.....और ....माँ के हाथ के खाने के क्या कहने....चलते फिरते अजनबी पर मुस्कुराने के क्या कहने....चलते चलते गाड़ी ठोक कर ख़ुद चिल्लाने के क्या कहने....खुले आम गाली बकने ने....शोर मचाने के.....मस्ती में खो जाने के....जो fingerprints वाली रसम का ज़िक्र है गौर किया जाए तो बेहद खूबसूरत है.....खूबसूरत रस्मो की....ढेरों यादों की....रंगीन और तुनकमिजाज़ लोगो की , कभी बंधिशो.....तो कभी आवारागर्दी....अच्छी या बुरी बाहर रहेते हुए याद आती है इतना ही बहुत है......बस भूलने की कोशिश न करे भूले बिसरे याद करले इतना ही काफी है....हेना....
liked ur 3rd blog bttr thn this one...ur sayin ur nostalgic bt hvnt written nythin tht makes the reader feel tht...(or mayb tht cud b ur way of feelin nostalgic :P)liked the 3rd blog..ws written well...
Hey nikita,
ur lines were really good.. but weren't you supposed to comment something about my blog also? [;)]
Thanks Sarita.. I hope you like my upcoming blogs as well...
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