Namastey "Onsite" London!!

HICKORY DICKERY DOCK, TIME TO WRITE A BLOG... Yeah, I know that these lines "exactly" do not qualify (even if the judges were my parents or my wife) as a limerick. But due to the LAKHON novels that I have written till now [:D], I could not think of any good and original way of beginning a blog. Maybe, I am suffering from temporary and chronic attacks of AUTHOR FATIGUE, which is similar to METAL FATIGUE. Now, don't you ask me "Wat on Earth is Metal Fatigue?". If you want the details of "metal fatigue", please visit WIKIPEDIA and type METAL FATIGUE as the search string. In case, you have understood, please explain it to me as well...

Getting on with the blog, thanks readers for all the love that you have showered on my little head... After my last post, a truckload of fan mails were literally dumped on me. My mailman was so happy that he gave me the tightest hug that I have ever received in my life... and by any chance if you weirdos are thinking on the same lines as Kanta Ben, I would like to clarify that this hug was meant to crush my bones and make a pulp out of them. This was b'coz, my fans were so desperate to show off there FAN-NESS that they gave poor mailman a punch or two for the sheer fact that he was bringing me mails and would therefore transfer their LOVE directly to me.. Got to say, my fans do house a very DEEP thinking mind on their torso. What else would justify fan mails with jaws of a shark and a warning beneath saying "JAWS 5 is being made and we have recommended your name to play the character who is ripped apart by the 20 ft Great white".

No prices for guessing why I have chosen this topic as my fourth blog entry (or is it third?? ...mmm.. chaddo yaar... who cares!!)... No..NAH.. absolutely not...its not like I want to shout from the top of mt. everest that I am currently residing in London and I am on an on-site assignment (which I already did!! oops, CHAMDE KI JABAN HEIN JI, FISAL JAATI HEIN..). Its just that I am missing India and hence want to think of something which would help me get out of this temporary state.

First things first.. onsite salary is 10 times its offshore counterpart. Taking all the inflationary jargon into account, savings over here are 10 - 15 times that at offshore. For all you non IT guys (read FORTUNATE), onsite is a term used to annotate a temporary stay at your client's office for the purpose of understanding (and breaking!!) client's systems. Also, statistically speaking, 8 out of 10 times your client would be located out of India (the remaining 2 times, if you are working for an Indian client, you would have to work at an Indian location). What this essentially means is that you would be paid in the currency of that country in which you are working. For eg., if you are working on a project of an English client (say TESCO) then your onsite work location would be England (or UK should I say??) and your salary would be in GBP (Great Britain Pounds). Now, if some of my BRIGHT readers think that I am over here (in London) working for TESCO, then please keep your thinking process at bay. I am not that foolish that I would disclose my client's whereabouts so easily. [:P]

Moving on, after explicating the salary part, let me outline other facets of life at onsite. Remember our Class 1 social science book (oh, i am feeling nostalgic now. Got the topic of my next blog entry!!). Yeah, the book that had a girl skipping at its cover page. That book had a chapter (don't remember the chapter number) which had this bunch of cavemen feeding on the flesh of a hapless deer (and the censor board calls for a ban on showing violent scenes in movies!!). Now, assuming that they didn't have refrigerators back then (pardon my pathetic sense of humor!!), these people must have got the responsibility of killing and devouring the animal in real quick time. The point that I am trying to make out of this absolute utter crap is, man is a social animal since the time of his (or her) origins and we Indians, b'coz of some congenital characteristics which we had acquired (what the heck!! how can a characteristic be congenital if at all it was acquired!!) from our society, are MORE social. However, our Indian instincts have to take a backseat when we are at onsite (outside India).

I mean, in India, I could not have imagined spending a whole day without getting involved in some kind of quarrel with either my room-mates or with my near and dear ones (reminds me, of late I haven't had a skirmish with my wife!!) . But over here, all you do is avoiding confrontation; keep aside skirmishes. What the hell.. I was supposed to write things which were to help me in overcoming home-sickness. Seems like I am deviating.. Lets try it again.

Hmm.. At onsite...mmmm... Ohh, it was in my mind just a moment ago...Yes, at onsite... shhhheeeesshh.. Guys and gals, I think the more I do a conscious effort of NOT missing India, the more would I be doing the same [:(].. This is perhaps b'coz no matter how much we crib about our corrupt and unresponsive government or about the underdeveloped infrastructure (or should I say, the absence of it!!) or the constant nagging and meddling of our parents or about the SUPPOSED Indian narrow-mindedness or about the great Indian hoopla about cricket or about petty and cheap politicians who would perhaps do anything for there selfish interests; the fact remains, we have got used to such atrocities and anomalies. Anything that does not subscribe to these, leaves us wanting.

Well, time to wrap up my blog. Hope you experienced the same joy and warmth reading it as I had writing (typing!!) it. You must have guessed the topic of my next post. In case you haven't, keep guessing for I don't want to end the suspense (if there was any [:)]) right now.

P.S: Please don't pull out your hair thinking "What's the logic behind the nomenclature used in naming this blog". Frankly speaking, there isn't any (logic)!!.

of Football and Footballers

Well well well... now why the hell am i typing so many wells. Maybe 'coz during easter holidays, i visited Cardiff which happens to be the capitol of WALES [:D].. ah ah.. hey, don't beat me..ouch.. you moron, only 'coz i happen to crack some really stupid jokes, u cannot hit me so hard with that cricket bat of urs...aaaaaaooooooo... this is not good.. Cyber world is a democratic world where everybody is free to express his / her views and crack absolutely PAKAO jokes.. Also, the possibility of it (Cyber World) being ruled by a totalitarian government is lesser than that of US being ruled by Atal Bihari Vajpayee.. aaoooo.. oh for the sake of Shahid and Kareena, stop hitting me.. ouuucchh.. wat??? I swear to god that i didn't knew there relationship went for a ride on a NAWABI horse.. aaaaaahhhhhhh... KEEP TAT BAT AWAY ..

Thankyou... Talking about cricket bats, I recollect that today many of my friends have gone to see Brazil Vs Sweden "friendly" football match .. Now, don't you ask me this stupid question that how could I recollect information about football when I was talking about cricket bats.. Its elementary my dear Reader... Cricket happens to be India's unofficial national game and football, tat of England.. Now, since I am residing in England (for the time being), the aforementioned analogy came in my head. Simple. Isn't it?? [:D] ..naa na na na na.. I have hidden that cricket bat of yours. This great move has given me the CARTE BLANCHE of cracking EPJs (Extremely Poor / Phata Jokes). [;)]

Moving on, about seven of my friends have gone to watch this extremely "interesting" game. Now, don't you think that I was not invited. I was and that too very ceremoniously. No, you dud, they didn't take my footprints like the same are taken of a newly wedded wife. Something like, "Hey you.. yes you.. We have got an extra ticket and we are not able to sell it to somebody else (In other words, WE ARE NOT ABLE TO FIND ANY SUITABLE BAKRA). Now, you being the only Indian in immediate vicinity would have to purchase it. After all, KHARAB DINO MEIN EK INDIAN HI DUSRE INDIAN KE KAAM AATA HEIN.." The last line was sooo sentimental that it directly knocked at the gates of my heart. India... My India.. My Indians... I was overcome by emotions to such an extent that.. that.. that I ran away from there and when my friend asked me for my VERDICT, i CATEGORICALLY denied it..Reason: Overflowing emotions for the Indian community, which has prompted me to watch an Indian desi movie at home.. So here I am, watching CHAK DE INDIA for the umpteenth time and relishing the cold weather out here.. By the way, if you think that I am supporting movie piracy then your thought would have to take a back seat, for now, 'coz the DVD of CHAK DE INDIA has been released by the producers..

But, ad-hoc JINGOISTIC (read patriotic) feeling is not the only factor which has prompted me to turn down my friend's offer. You must have guessed it till now. No?? not till now? Ok, let me open the Pandora's box for you. (By the way, please explain to me the meaning of Pandora's box.. don't know from where did this word came in my mind [:D])

Well (again "well".. STOP, you cannot find that BAT) firstly, it is literally raining CATS and DOGS over here. I mean, yeah at home we call this type of rain a mild shower but who cares what we call it at home. WHEN IN ROME DO WHAT THE ROMANS DO is my mantra and 'coz the ANGREZ call it a heavy shower, I would also do the same.

Secondly, since I don't follow football as religiously as cricket, I don't have much interest in the game. Now, all the billions and billions of my fans, who IDOLIZE me [:D], this does not mean that I am ridiculing the football game. I mean, how can one ridicule a game that is played across the world and acts as a FEVICOL JOD between different countries. I am just saying the degree of interest that I have developed in football is exponentially lesser than that I have developed for cricket (What a line boss!!!). B'coz of this lackadaisical attitude, my knowledge about football can be compared to that of Madhurii Dixit... oops, i mean MRS. MADHURI NENE in c# (c# is a programming language for all the fortunate guys..yeah, not software guys and gals for me are fortunate [:D]). Maybe, she knows more..

Anyways, time to wrap up this blog. My friends have arrived and it seems that Brazil have won the match by a slim margin of 1 - 0. So, all you hardcore Brazil fans, go out and party... Burst some crackers.. dance to the tunes of "CHAK DE INDIA" [:D]. After all, its BRAAAAAZZZZZZZIIIIIIIILLLLLLL.. ta ra ra ra ra... ta ra ra ra ra... BRAZZZZZIIIIIILLLL.. (Venga Boys song..)

P.S: After all the RAVE comments on my first 2 blog entries, I have finally decided that I need to increase the frequency of posting blogs [:D]. Heck, I would need to pull my socks till my waist now..

SPECIAL THANKS TO NITIKA AND NITIN AND SARITA FOR TAKING THERE TIME OUT AND PUTTING A COMMENT ON MY BLOG. Sarita, have taken a note of your suggestions and would try to implement them in my subsequent posts. After all, I am not as gabby or as grandiloquent as filles and (cow)boys think of me. I am laconic, concise, precise and would try to remain the same [:D]. Nitin, I would try to stop thinking about my readers and start working towards "speaking my heart out". But don't you think that i have done so already after cracking PAKAO and more PAKAO jokes [;)]. NITIKA, I have already replied to your comments. Would just like to say one more thing. You have got a beautiful blog and a beautiful HANDWRITING [:D]. Keep it up dear sis.

LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST, I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY DEAR SISTER-IN-LAW POOH, FOR INSPIRING ME TO ENTER THE FANTABULUOS WORLD OF BLOGGING. POOH, YOU WOULD NEVER FACE A COMPETITION FROM MY SIDE SIS AS YOU ARE A POET AND I IN MY DREAMS ALSO CANNOT DREAM OF BECOMING ONE. I THINK VERY HIGHLY OF THEM ('coz of the month's ration they bring home whenever they attend a KAVI SAMMELAN..ohh and multiple individual shoes also [:D].. Kiddin). NOW ALL MY READERS KNOW WHOSE HEAD THEY HAVE TO BASH... As we talk, many would be sharpening there knives and hockey sticks (now, how do you sharpen a hockey stick???) to gatecrash at your home.

Ok friends, this is Rohit signing out and please keep sending your fan mails.. [:D]

A Cradle for my blog - part 2!!

Hi folks. Hope you liked my first blog on the blogosphere.. For all of you who were waiting (desperately??) for the second part, I have taken the pains of penning down the second part of my first blog. However, the magnitude of this pain nowhere falls in vicinity of the same endured by you readers to go through my first blog [:D]. Hope you are ready for the second installment...

As per my understanding, I anticipate that many (read most) of you would think that I am a self obsessed, supercilious, haughty and superficial braggart. Please don't let that thought creep into your mind. I am a perfectly normal human being who likes to make fun of himself before switching on to the easter bunny.. now, don't you dare ask me why the hell would someone make fun of the easter bunny.. I also don't know from where did that word entered my mind. Might be, Jug Surya makes fun of his wife BUNNY and I wanted one BUNNY for my blog too.. Now, since Mr. Surya (no matter how much he takes a dig on his wife) in his rarest of rare dreams would not even dream of giving me his wife for MY blog, i tried searching for my Bunny and voila!!.. Thanks to the Easter Bunny, I got an Easter Bunny for myself.. (Pls pls pls pls don't hit me, i promise I would not crack such EPJ's again, Extremely Poor / Phata Jokes)

After making through all the byzantine, convoluted and absolutely nonsense blabbering of mine, I would really appreciate if you could explain to me the meanings of sentences that I have written so far. Frankly, I would not go through the above post even if my wife gives me a death threat to do so...jyada ho gaya.. okies, i would go through the above post in the aforementioned scenario. [:D]

Lets move on to some serious stuff. You might be wondering why on god's b'ful earth would someone name his / her blog with a blog address that's as abstruse as Heisenberg's uncertainty principle or the real motive of SRK for appearing in Indian team's cricket matches. Let me explain.. The official meaning of SOJOURN (courtesy, Dictionary.com) is "A TEMPORARY STAY". Guess this is enough for you to make out the meaning and (quoting Neo "Matrix" Anderson) PURPOSE of this blog's name. For those of you who still haven't got it, this blog is an account of the continuous "SOJOURNS" of life. For me, life's not a continuous journey. Its an ARRAY-LIST (pls excuse my software ACCENT!!) of billions and billions of temporary moments which can be grouped under individual elements of this list. One element representing childhood, other representing marriage et al. Off course unlike a normal arraylist, here, all the elements are cascaded with the happenings of one directly having affects on the others.

ooh.. kinda heavy and nonsense.. Please excuse my amateur ways of comparing real life happenings with those of MY software world.

Moving on to the title of this blog, CRADLE (again courtesy, Dictionary.com) is "A BED FOR AN INFANT" or metaphorically speaking (wow, what a word!!) is "the place where everything is nurtured during its early existence". Hence, this blog would act as a cradle for the rest of my blogs. Damn it, 'coz of these bad bad BAD comparisons, I know that I have already shown the gates to those journalists who approached me in part 1. Why the hell did I procrastinate my interview.. [:(]

Now, let me disclose one heart-breaking fact to all the billions and billions of gals out there. I AM MARRIED. I know that in this mournful world, where sub-prime crises looms large and where a reputed financial company like Bear Sterns is taken over for pocket money, it is enough for you gals to commit suicide but this is a FACT [:D]. Jokes apart, I am married to a girl of my age, who for me is the most beautiful person on this earth. Not 'coz she married a BAD humored guy like me but 'coz she's herself and that's what drove me to her.

Well, i guess this second part is also done. As a direct consequence of the enjoyment I got in typing the last 2 blogs, I would be a regular blogger now. Hope you guys like it and keep sending in your fan mails. Ohh boy, I have a truck load of fan mails arriving in a couple of minutes from now. Didn't expect my fans to start sending HATE letters this early.. [:)].

Anyways, this is Rohit signing off. In subsequent days, you would get a taste of life from my FRAME OF REFERENCE and accounts of my life experiences. Some topics which are revolving in my head as of now are "Date with Madame Tussads", "Day at HITRO (oops, Heathrow)" etc etc.

A Cradle for my blog - part 1!!

Hello everybody...hmm, seems kinda formal??
okies, lets try it again... Hey there "Not So Gentle" Gentlemen and ladies. This is Rohit Agrawal writing his first blog entry in his first blog... ohh!! Damn, this mobile always bugs me, even when I am writing my first blog. Readers, please hold on...

Hello? yes, this is Rohit Agrawal. No you moron... private void abusivewords()... its agRAwal, not agARwal.. yeah..hmm... ohh please, can we do this interview thing later.. i mean, yes i can fully understand your inquisitiveness ...private void thinkingbubble() MEDDLESOMENESS!.. about my blog but for the sake of christ's controversial (un)born child , PLS LET ME COMPLETE THE FIRST POST..puutaackk... seriously guys and gals, i tell you this IN-dependent media of ours can track the latest developments in any body's life even before they have REALLY happened. Sometimes, I think that all of the media houses have there own PRE-COGS with which they can have the FOREKNOWLEDGE of everything important (CRIME???) that is going to happen.. (Pls don't hit me, i promise I would not crack such PJ's again)

Fair enough, now everyone who has gone through the above paragraph can conclude 3 things about me for sure:
1) I belong to the Software Industry
2) I have a really BAD sense of humor
3) I am really a novice in writing blogs
4) I have a perennial problem of people getting confused about the spelling of my surname
5) The proverb "Common sense is highly uncommon" perfectly fits me because after mentioning "3 things can be concluded about me", i actually penned down 4 (5 i think!!).

Guess this would be enough for your first reading and would keep you (un??)interested in my blog. And I know that the probability of you waiting for the second part of this (boring) blog is lesser than that of having a snowfall in Indore. But for those of you who really liked my "DEFLOWERING" blog (KOI HEINNNNNN.....) , I would type in the second blog real quick, maybe today only.. (ohh, i can do this for all my fans.. THANKU THANKU for all your claps [:D])

So long friends till then..

P.S: Please do post your comments on this blog. Would help me in my ALREADY "flourishing" writing career. [:D]